Gentle Persuasion
by SacredLimo417
Summary: Or Five Times Dan and Blair Happen Upon Each Other Before Her Wedding. DAIR.
1. Happening One: The Hospital

Gentle Persuasion

(_Or Five Times Dan and Blair Happen Upon Each Other Before Her Wedding_)

Author's Note: I just want to say words cannot express how absolutely thankful I am to all who reviewed! When your story gets 1000 hits and 24 reviews, those 24 really count! But regardless, it brings me real Christmas joy to know so many are enjoying my writing. Hope you enjoy this new piece too! There will be four or five pieces and they will all show both Dan and Blair exposing themselves a little more to each other. So in a sense "happen upon" each other won't always necessarily mean bumping into each other unexpectedly, but it will mean their feelings will be revealed to each other in bits and pieces. Each one will have a different feel, this first one being incredibly angsty because I'm just finishing off my teen years and still have a bit of angst left to show for it.

PS. This title totally comes from Tears For Fears. Like, duh.

Disclaimer: I do not OWN. If I did, I would have killed Louis off in a creative manner months ago.

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_Happening One_

In hindsight, he realized that she was wrong all those months ago. She was not the one imploding. He was. He had been scorching under her gaze and crumbling into fragments so finite, he had not even noticed until it was far too late. He had accepted his fate then, when his heart still thudded with every passing thought, hers so far away in Monaco that it seemed nonsensical to even think of her. Loving her was simple then; a daunting task he hid with ease, a flickering pain he could nobly face in her absence.

Feeling this way in her presence was entirely different. Stripped of the solitude he had so been accustomed, he felt fully exposed by a mere glance in his direction. It frustrated him to no end that despite this bareness that engulfed him completely, what Blair Waldorf felt when she looked at Dan Humphrey was a simple nothingness. An unbearable indifference. It was _this_ above all that broke his heart the most.

In part, it was this that had kept him away from her hospital bedside for the four long days that it had. Not only had he been plagued with the knowledge that he was partially responsible for her being in the accident in the first place, but he also been preparing himself to be away from her for a long time. He had hoped that once Chuck and Blair had found each other, they would be too immersed in each others light to have a need for much else, giving Dan time to heal through his prose. He was not prepared to see her as the complete opposite; bandaged in a hospital bed and detached from all that had kept her afloat. He had seen her broken too many times in the past few months; he was not sure if he could stand to see it again.

He was even more distressed by the fact that, despite her being surrounded by love and support in every direction, he knew none of the people around her would really understand her.

He cringed at the thought of the night the accident occurred, as he sat motionless in a corner of the waiting room, Blair's fate hanging in the balance. He remembered how they all had swarmed around him, calculated pity tainting their faces, _poor Dan_, they think, _it must be so rough on him_. He eventually escaped to the hospital cafeteria for a moment alone because, _Christ, these people just don't get it_. His heart and soul nearly died that night and they thought he was distraught because she almost did it with Chuck Bass by her side.

It takes four whole days for Dan Humphrey to accept all this, (his love for her the unnoticed elephant in the room, her pain unbearable, their reality much too real) and see her anyway.

He paced outside of her room for minutes; unsure of what was supposed to happen next. He could offer her solace, but he was not sure how much she would be willing to take. Would she question his motives that night? Would she blame him? He shuddered at the thought.

He took four measured deep breaths, knocked twice, and entered the room.

"Dan," she stated plainly, placing her copy of _The Tigers Wife_ and turning to face him. Her hair was mussed and her face covered in cuts and bruises and still, Dan's heart skips a dreaded beat. That affect would unfortunately never fade away.

"Hi. Blair, I'm so sorry I haven't visited you. I just…"

"Its okay, Humphrey." He drops down into a chair placed right beside her bed, guilt overwhelming him.

"Its not, I should have been here-"

"You have. You have been here for me more than anyone," she says earnestly, and places a warm hand on his arm. He ignores the tingles that charge their way up and down his spine.

He smiled, bitter. "Look at you, comforting me. You're the one in the hospital, and I haven't even asked you how you are."

Her sad smile dropped slightly. "All I can say is that I'm trying. With Chuck still unconscious and the baby…" She took a moment and restarted. "It's been difficult."

He winced as he noticed a single tear travel down her face. He will never understand the connection that binds them, that causes her pain to become his undoing.

"I will never be able to apologize enough for my hand in everything that night, Blair."

Suddenly, her tears stopped, and she's squinting at him accusingly.

"How can you even say that!"

He looked up at her, dumbfounded.

"I lead you to him…"

"Exactly. And it was exactly what I needed. As terrible as this sounds, I needed to go through this with Chuck. It was the only way I could ever understand how destructive we are together."

"So, you aren't-"

"Upset? Never, Dan. I needed you to help me see what I saw that night. I can't continue down the path I was on."

He swallows the glimmer of hope that leaped to life at her words. The answer was still no.

"Still, I'm just so sorry…for everything. When are you allowed to leave?"

"Truthfully, two days ago."

He takes a few seconds to process what she said before he responded.

"Then…why haven't you left?"

"I just…needed a place to think. Away from home where everyone would be floating over me. Just peace."

"Come back with me, then."

"What?"

"Come back with me. No one will expect you to go back to Brooklyn, and you can take all the time for yourself that you need."

She shuts her eyes for a moment, her thoughts a cloud of mystery.

"What is it with you and saving me, Dan?"

He gulped; worried his cover had been blown. While the fact that she was still oblivious to his feelings had stung for months, the thought of being exposed at a moment like this one seemed excruciating.

"You are just…important to me. That is all."

"Well, one of these days I'm going to save you."

And that day came sooner than they both realized it would.

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ANGST, I know! However PLEASE review! I promise the next few chapters will all be much more upbeat, but still tell one linear dair-filled storyline. Next chapter up very very soon! THANKS FOR READING!


	2. Happening Two: The Apartment

Inspired by the songs "Rewind" by Goldspot and "Apartment" by Young the Giant. PLEASE listen to them while you read, they capture DAIR perfectly.

A/N: Again, thanks so much for the reviews! They were the brightest Christmas gifts of all! This chapter is very reminiscent of my first fic "To Be Without Her Being", but I kind of expanded on that idea (pimp alert, read that too) Hope you enjoy!

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_Happening Two: The Apartment_

…..

He is avoiding the apartment. She is still there, lingering. Her scent on all his books and his furniture and in his cabinets and underneath his fingernails and in between in his toes and everywhere. In everything he thinks and everything he does. In everywhere he goes and everything he is. She is everywhere. He is running. He has to.

Because, _Christ_, he cannot just keep being up there, next to her. Putting all his effort into not falling apart in front of her. Hiding everything that even has a trace of her, removing all the evidence of what he was doing (_fallingthefuckapart_) before she got there. He shreds all the drafts of the Afterword that he can find into tiny little bits, suppressing the desire to liken them to the state of his heart.

Finally, he is sitting at a table of a coffee shop they have never visited together, reading a magazine she has not found the time to tear to pieces, and he can breathe. When he is honest with himself, he knows that this pain is much more real than he ever could have written in _Inside_. This pain remains by his side through all of the sleepless nights and blocks his doorframe, stopping him from going out and moving on and being clean of her. The ache in his heart is so sharp he can feel it in his back. Serena and Rufus and even Nate are all making half-hearted attempts at getting through to him and all he can bring himself to do is stew, and write. He only drinks black coffee and he only eats alone. He has not looked her in the eye since he saw her at the hospital, nearly a month ago. When he is honest with himself, he knows that he cannot go on like this much longer. Thankfully, Dan Humphrey is honest with himself very rarely.

In the Afterword, his ending was still painful, but pristine. He had tied all the loose ends and topped with desolate little bows. Unlike Dan, Dylan Hunter could breathe. His heart was still broken (never as broken as Dan's), but he found a way to use the pain to better the lives of those around him. _When Dylan let Clair go_, he had written, _everyone else started really living. Eventually, Dylan did too._

Dan still has not found a way to make all of his words true, just yet. He reasons with himself that perhaps if he hides for just a bit longer, he will find the answer.

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When he goes back to the apartment (_because he has to, its 2am and he does so reluctantly)_, he swears that the entire walk home, the City is silent. He feels something stir within himself, unsettling him completely. When he unlocks the door of the apartment and sees her sitting on the couch, _Inside_ in hand, it is as if he has predicted his fate.

There are no words for what he feels as Blair Waldorf stares blankly at his soul, bared with ink on off-white paper. He simply blinks, swallows, and waits.

"Alessandra sent over the reprint. I thought I'd finally read it."

Because of course Blair's chronic meddling would lead to the undoing of them both. Still, he does not respond, he _cannot_, he is unable to find it within himself. He is not done hiding.

"I read it. All of it."

Obviously.

"And I'm glad I did."

He looks up at her, risking his sanity for a glimpse, his curiosity encapsulating him.

She stares directly at the wall at the opposite side of the room, absolutely refusing to even glance in his direction. He admires how strong-willed she is, even at a time like this.

"What…what do you mean, Blair?"

She closes her eyes, but she will not look at him. He silently thanks her for that - one glance, and he probably would have fallen apart for good.

"I have been here for weeks, focusing on myself and my problems, using your loft as my personal escape. Even before that, I was so focused on all of my drama with Louis and Chuck that I did not even register how you've been. You've been hurting, Dan."

"Blair, I told you this place is yours as much as it is mine. Your being here is not an issue."

"Why do you do that, Dan?"

He gulps, and sits next to her on the couch. They both stare at the wall before them, anguish engulfing them. Dan wishes feebly that she would look at him, that it would wake him up from this nightmare that is tearing him apart, scarring him forever.

"Do what?"

"Lie to me. You lie to me all the time, and you end up hurting for everyone else."

He sighs. The sharp pain in his heart stops completely, and the whole thing drops to his stomach.

"I never meant to lie you, Blair."

"How long?"

He gulps. He just…can't.

"How long…what?"

"How long…has everything you said in the book…how long have you-"

"Awhile, Blair."

"I said I wanted to know how long."

A sigh, a frustrated hand through his hair. It is all the same. She can see him now.

"Over a year."

"And you never told me because…"

He can't. He has done too much for her, he cannot do this.

"I…everything in the book…that's why."

"Then I've failed you. I saw it, all of it, but I never allowed myself to put you first."

"Blair, you didn't."

"I did. But I can fix it now."

She stands abruptly, revealing the packed bag that has sat beneath her crossed legs for the entire night.

"Blair, what…what is going on?"

She sighs, facing him finally. He can't take this.

"I'm going back to the apartment. I finally understand how my being around affects you, and I can't let you go through it anymore. You know, as rarely as I say it aloud, I hope you know how important you are to me."

"Blair, this is the last thing that I wanted," he chokes out, "I never wanted my feelings for you to drive you away."

"You have to understand, Dan," she says quietly, placing a hand on his forearm, scalding his skin. "We need to be apart. I've been using you as a crutch and with me around, we both won't be able to…" She cannot even force out the rest.

He covers his face with his hands as the realization dawns on him. She is saving him. Everyone else just watched him self-destruct, too self-obsessed to intervene, too focused on the benefits of his sacrifice to think of what he was feeling. She was tearing herself away, out of her comfort zone, back to a place where Louis could reach her and the world would come knocking. She put him first. She saved him.

"I can't let you do this."

He is a martyr.

"It's already done."

He breathes. All along, he knew he would not be able to cut the cord on his own.

"And Dan…I'm not saying "no"…I'm saying that we both need time to just…figure out how to be okay."

His heart leaps, despite himself. They are both broken, too broken to even consider it. But hope's ghost remains because no matter what has happened between them, and what happens after this moment, Dan Humphrey is in love with her. He is beyond in love with her. He can see no one else.

"Okay." He stands, lifting her bag and carrying it to his door.

"Will you call me?" He pushes. It will be difficult, being completely without her for the first time in a long time.

"I will. I'm just…so sorry for everything."

He sees tears welling in her eyes and pulls her close, feelings be damned. He is beyond worrying that she'll hear his hammering heart and ignite sparks all over his body. They are on their way to being better. He is seeing her in an entirely new light.

"Don't be sorry. We both need this."

"At the risk of sounding revoltingly vulnerable," she mumbles into his crinkled plaid shirt, "I already miss you."

"Blair," he's whispering in her curls, "I miss you too."

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review please! I'm feeling all vulnerable and mushy inside.


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